The Scathing Atheist

by Noah Lugeons

So I’m reading the bible for this Holy Babble segment we’re doing on the show and I figured as I was reading I’d toss a few of my random thoughts out.  These’ll probably be short posts where I reflect on something that I probably won’t have time to mention on the show.

My first such reflection comes in the 4th chapter of Genesis.  We’re right in the middle of a “who-fucked-who” list (of which Genesis seems to have plenty) and suddenly my boy Lamech shows up out of nowhere with bloody hands and a crazed look in his eye.  This homicidal polygamist gathers his wives together and says:

Adah and Zillah (his wives, banging chicks from A-Z, this boy was), hear my voice (what the hell else would they hear?);

You wives of Lamech, listen to what I say: (the Bible likes to repeat itself)

I have killed a man for wounding me, a young man for striking me.

If Cain is avenged sevenfold, truly Lamech seventy-seven fold”

And then we’re back to fuck-lists.  This just pops up out of nowhere and as near as I can tell, it’s not setting up something else.  So basically Lamech just shows up in the middle of the bible to tell everybody what a bad ass he is.  I can’t help but think of him in the room while the scribes were writing it going, “Put in a part where I’m a badass.  At least ten times… no eleven times more badass than Cain!”

So that was weird.  Anyway, back to bible study.