Home > General Bitches and Gripes > An Atheist Behind Enemy Lines

An Atheist Behind Enemy Lines

by Noah Lugeons

It’s a long story, but my wife and I bid a fond farewell to NYC this week and moved south.  Our destination?  The duodenum of the bible belt; south Georgia.

I can hear the incredulous echo of “Why!?” already, so I should note that Lucinda’s family lives there, I grew up there, we both have a number of friends there and it costs about as much to rent a house there as it costs to park a car for a month in the Big Apple.  So when I got laid off and the most expensive city in the US was no longer a viable option, Georgia was the first option we considered.  And as much as there is to hate about this part of the country, I was wearing shorts and short-sleeves this afternoon.

But I’m also a firm believer that if we want to make progress as a movement, we’re going to need vocal atheists in every part of the nation.  The disturbing national trend of voluntary relocation for the purposes of political hegemony is certainly a factor in our gridlocked government.  And while I would never recommend that anybody move to or even visit South Georgia for any reason whatsoever, I also wouldn’t recommend that anyone shy away from a place they’d like to be just because the religiots got there first.

And sure, there’ll be issues.  My new landlord let us know that if there was an emergency we could call him on Sundays, but otherwise it’s the lord’s day.  I’ve already been asked three times if my wife and I had chosen a church yet (we’ve been here almost two days).  The guy who came to hook up our cable was really friendly until he saw Lucinda’s Bible (and the Atheist sticker on it).  Not to mention the witless church signs packed so densely they could be knocked over like dominoes.  And the bumper stickers.  And the confederate flags…

But I don’t see any of this as a negative.  After 46 diatribes in a row, I was starting to worry that I’d run out of shit to be pissed about.  Now I’m fairly certain that I’ll be good through episode 348 at least.


  1. December 30, 2013 at 11:54 AM

    Looks like you will have plenty of inspiration in your new (old) digs. Good for those of us who enjoy the podcast, bad for your sanity and ulcers. Oh well… Keep up the good work, gang, love your show!

  2. Atheous
    December 30, 2013 at 12:39 PM

    It could be worse though. I grew up in north Georgia and went in the Navy at age 20, got stationed in Tennessee for 4 years before coming to California. I was steeped in the south for about a quarter century. I’m still overcoming the racist indoctrination I grew up in.

    My Mom recently died (18 Dec), and now I’m going to move back with my dad in Texas to help him out. But I need him as well. Being disabled, I’m losing 2/3 of my income because my employer is bankrupting or selling, either cuts benefits to retirees and disabled employees. I have only my Social Security disability (~1,100/mo) to live on, which you cannot.

    I’ll still be listening, and there will be one more voice of reason in the south. I wish you the best, my friend. There is an upside, however ugly. The U.S. south isn’t TOO bad a place to be if you’re white. It’s obscene, but true.

  3. Atheous
    December 30, 2013 at 12:41 PM

    Also, I’m hoping very much that Heath and Eli still contribute to the show. Two funny guys.

  4. bob
    December 30, 2013 at 1:15 PM

    Sure hate to see anybody have to come back here after they’ve escaped once. Don’t know about south ga now, I’m up in the north east part of the state, and around here the religion thing seems to be even more radical now than it was just a few years ago. Now instead of a sticky note on your 666 room number, they’d be more likely to burn the door down. 🙂

    Not too bad a place to live I guess as long as you like it too damn HOT and HUMID.

  5. December 30, 2013 at 1:52 PM

    Welcome to Georgia! Hope you still like the weather come July!

    I live ‘way up here in Atlanta. My experience is that driving south from this city is like going back in time. Enjoy the 1950s!

  6. manuelroyal
    December 30, 2013 at 1:53 PM

    Welcome to Georgia! Hope you still like the weather come July.

    I live ‘way up in Atlanta. It’s not too bad here; but driving south from this city is like going back in time. Enjoy the 1950s!

  7. Tim
    December 30, 2013 at 2:57 PM

    Best of luck, Noah and Lucinda… keep piling on the vitriol….

    Tim (who, apparently, can cut through steel girders with his prick ;0)

  8. Matthew
    December 30, 2013 at 5:42 PM

    I’ve just looked at a map and confirmed my suspicion that Georgia is a long way away from New York. From your description of the natives, it’s no wonder rent prices are down!
    I am concerned that Heath will have a diminished role within the dynamic trio. He can’t just “pop in” for some Scatheism whenever he feels like it anymore. Hopefully you’ve got a cunning technology solution that lets him participate like some sort of long distance, wayward family member!

  9. Christian (yes ... that's actually my name ...not what I do)
    January 1, 2014 at 11:11 AM

    Does this mean you will be climbing into your car thru the windows now?
    All the best down there to you and Lucinda.

  10. January 2, 2014 at 8:02 PM

    Hopefully all your loyal fans will kick in a few bucks in your hour of need. Sorry my paltry contribution couldn’t be more. Yours is the podcast I most look forward to listening to each week.

  11. Daniel Duncan
    January 5, 2014 at 9:21 PM

    Noah and Lucinda, welcome back to the bible pants. Remember Dragoncon is in September with skeptic alley. I hope to attend for the first time this year.

  12. eyesack
    January 6, 2014 at 2:12 PM

    When you’re a deep cover operative for the atheist shadow government residing in South Georgia to fight the good fight, you will always have shit to complain about.

    And if it becomes too much for Lucinda, she can take a bendaryl and get fucked up for the night.

  13. psyche
    January 6, 2014 at 3:38 PM

    Ive posted a many of your show links on my FB page and probably lost friends and family.Fuck em ..I enjoy your show and made a small tithe.Small price to pay for such great entertainment..wish I had more,but i’m a single mom .THANKU

  14. January 6, 2014 at 11:36 PM

    Best of Lucks! Bummer about NYC.

  15. January 8, 2014 at 6:14 PM

    In full California accent, “Duuuuuuude that sucks!” You will be living in my own personal hell. Report on the insanity PLEASE! The advantage is you will be up to your neck in material and the podcast is going to be funnier than ever. It’s time to publish and book tour, you got fans in San Francisco.

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