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Were You There?

by Noah Lugeons

It’s one of the most filthy, underhanded tactics that the creationists employ. What child wouldn’t rather believe in a history where humans and dinosaurs coexisted? What child wouldn’t rather live in a world where all these silly bible stories could really happen? So of course these soulless bastards target those kids with their bullshit museums, bullshit sleepover camps, bullshit “educational” material and bullshit multi-million dollar theme park (coming soon!).

And one of the most horrible examples of this is notorious fucktard Ken Ham. (Note to bloggers: wherever possible, link Ken Ham’s wikipedia page with the word “Fucktard“)

He likes to encourage kids to employ this intellectually vacuous defense when they’re confronted with actual facts from actual experts:

“Were you there?”

He encourages children to use this defense whenever anyone talks about something being millions or billions of years old. Whenever anyone talks about the age of the earth, the origins of the cosmos or (god-forbid) evolution.

Now, the master PZ Myers already refuted this nonsense better than I could ever hope to so I’m not going to beat a dead horse here. The only reason that I bring it up is that it occurs to me that this is a pretty dangerous tactic to take for Ken Ham and his acolytes. After all, won’t most children eventually think to turn this question on Ken Ham and their complicit mentally-abusive parents? What if the children asked the same question when they were told that people can live in whale stomachs or that Jesus died for our sins? How do we know if we weren’t there?

The real problem here is that in this instance, the scientists have an answer and the fundies don’t. Scientists can explain to even the developing intellect of a young child how they know what they know. They can’t explain it to the stunted intellect of Ken Ham, but that’s another matter altogether.

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